Release date: 10/06/1985 | Length: 3:49 | Release: Cant Get There from Here | SuE: #170

Women got legs, men got pants

R.E.M. are a rock band, though over the course of 15 albums they’ve been a pop band, a folk band, a glam band, as well as dabbling in other styles to complement their sound. One thing they’ve never credibly been is a metal band. Burning Hell gives a good indication of what they could do did the urge ever compel them.

It’s a clear parody of the hair metal sound that obliterated speakers in the 1980s, complete with sleazy lyrics and a huge snare hit. “Women got legs”. Yeah they do Michael. “Men got pants”. Umm, yeah we do Michael. “I got the picnic if you got the ants”. I’m not sure quite what you mean Michael but yeah right on.

This leather-emblazoned style is notorious for its depiction of women in their lyrics, be it glamourising barely-legal teenagers (“When I see you coming out of school that day, I knew I’ve got to have you”, Kiss, Christine Sixteen) or simply women as a sexual form (“I just need a new toy, I tell you what girl, Dance for me, I’ll keep you over-employed”, Mötley Crüe, Girls, Girls, Girls). A devil’s advocate would argue that these songs are simply that, art forms from which one must take a detached and neutral view towards, but the lack of nuance to metal’s nadir begs to differ.

Stipe’s snarl is an exaggeration of what he sounded like on Fables of the Reconstruction, though whilst Burning Hell was an outtake and tacked onto the 12″ of Cant Get There from Here, the song had been doing the rounds since their debut album. At live shows, Mike Mills’ bass is more prominent, and it’s Peter Buck’s scattergun riffs that occupy the centre on the studio take.

I imagine Burning Hell would’ve been a bit of a hoot live, but it’s no surprise that this wasn’t a particularly enduring b-side and was played no later than 1986. Essential R.E.M. this is not.